Do your children need you more when they are young or when they get a little older?

Posted on April 30 2013 by FHPPS in Parenting

Interesting question isn’t it! I have often asked this question myself. Initially I was adamant!

“Of course my children need me when they are young. I need to be at home with them and, take them to the park, take them to parties and play dates. I need to help them get dressed and bath and feed them. They definitely need me a lot!”

Now this is most certainly true. As young children they depend on you as their care giver and they need consistency in boundaries and discipline. They need to know they are loved and need quality time with you as their parents. But as they grow up you will begin to realize that all this is really easy stuff!! In fact you can get away with Granny or Grandpa, Aunty, and friends helping you through this time. They can get them dressed, organize supper and bath time, and take them to friends parties.(Be honest, all you do at parties is chat with the moms anyway! There is very little time spent chatting and interacting with your child.)

In my experience as your child starts formal schooling and moves through the grades at Primary school and then on to High School they actually need you more.

Children particularly boys need their parents to watch them play sport, help lift to sports events and be there when they are upset or angry with a friend or situation at school. This is the time that they need someone around. They can’t wait for you to get home from work. They can’t wait for the perfect time. They can only have a feeling and express it at that time, and you as their parent need to be there to listen and hear them.

We need to be there through the tough pre-teen and teenage years. Guiding them, being a good example and opening the lines of communication so that they feel they can trust you and confide in you. If you as their parents are not there and available then that is when they will rather turn to a friend. This is okay, except if the friend is not the best influence, or is also young and in experienced with life’s issues.

I feel that to have meals together is so important as these are time when you can share what has happened during the day and perhaps deal with any issues that they are concerned about.

Plan to always be there for your children, and not only while they are young, and create opportunities to be together. They are given to you to guide and care for all the days of your life. And the rewards are so great!!!!